Feature:
Arwin (not his real name) started to bully others at age 10. (PNA photo by Ma. Teresa Montemayor)
MANILA -- Seventeen-year-old "Arwin" (not his real name)
has always seen himself as an alpha male.
At age 10, he began throwing his weight around and bullying those
younger than him.
When people around him called him names, such as "Toyo" or "Suka",
he defended himself, albeit in a different way.
"Tinatawag akong ‘Toyo’, ‘Suka’, kaya kinokotongan ko sila,
sinusuntok, dahil hindi ako mang-aano kung hindi nila ako inaano (They
call me soy sauce, vinegar, so I extort from them. I punch them. I don’t do
anything to anyone who does not do anything to me)," said Arwin.
The moniker "Toyo" eventually stuck. In Filipino slang, a
person is called "toyo", a staple cooking ingredient in Asia, when he
is difficult to deal with -- which held true for Arwin.
"Parang ako ang siga dito. Kung may ibang bata na nagpapasaway
tapos ayaw magpapigil, binu-bully ko.
Medyo pakiramdam ko dapat nila akong
sundin (I'm like superior here. I bully kids who are unruly and could not
be managed. I somehow feel that they should obey me)," he said.
When asked why he bullies other young people, "Toyo" said he
wanted to defend himself and "be known as an untouchable."
"Kapag nakakapanakit ako, hindi ako mapakali. Gusto ko pa
dagdagan. Hindi ako kontento na umiyak lang 'yung na-bully ko (When I hurt
someone, I feel uneasy. I feel like I want to inflict more pain. I'm not
contented that my victim simply cries)," he said.
"Toyo" began with verbal bullying, which worsened into
physical bullying when his tweener neighbors called him names.
It went on for years but stopped five years ago when he was imprisoned
for stabbing another tweener during a riot inside a church on Christmas Eve.
"Simbang gabi sinaksak ko ng ice pick yung tatlo sa loob ng
simbahan. Tumakbo kami sa Talayan Village.
'Yung tito na pulis ng sinaksak ko
pinagbabaril ako. Tapos sumigaw siya ng ‘Snatcher!’ Kaya yung mga tao hinabol
ako at pinagsusuntok ako (It was dawn Mass. I stabbed the three with an
ice pick inside the church.
Then my friends and I ran toward Talayan Village. One
of those I stabbed has a policeman for an uncle. He fired his gun at me then
shouted ‘Snatcher!’ The people chased me and ganged up on me)," he
related.
"Toyo" was arrested and turned over to the Molave Youth Home,
a center for young people charged with crimes.
At the Home, he became a "big brother", who facilitates the
daily routine of more than 80 youths who, like him, are looking forward to
having a renewed life.
He was released from the center in November last year when the judge
handling his case found no solid evidence that he committed the crime.
The case of "Toyo" is just one of the many bullying incidents
in communities and schools.
Bullying has become prevalent in recent years, especially on social
media, prompting the passage of Republic Act No. 10627 or the Anti-Bullying Act
of 2013.
Latest data on child protection from the Department of Education showed
that as of December 2017, the incidence of bullying had decreased nationwide
from 29,723 for school year 2015-2016 to 19,672 for school year 2016-2017.
The highest incidence of bullying for 2016-2017 was recorded in the
National Capital Region with 3,595 while the lowest was in Region 9 (Zamboanga
Peninsula) with 113.
In an earlier interview, Education Undersecretary Anne Sevilla said the
decrease in the number of bullying incidents is a result of the department's
continuous campaign against bullying, including capacitating teachers and
non-teaching personnel on how to handle bullying.
Celebrity psychologist-psychiatrist Randy Misael Dellosa told the
Philippine News Agency (PNA) that the cause for bullying has different reasons
-- behavioral problems, mental disorders, personality disorders, and family
background and issues.
Bullying is the use of one's influence and strength to intimidate
others and force them to do what the bully wants, either verbally, physically
or socially.
Celebrity
psychologist-psychiatrist Randy Misael Dellosa says people bully for
different reasons and intimidate others and force them to do what they want. (PNA
photo by Jayrome Pablo)
Dellosa noted that most bullies have personality disorders, for
instance, a narcissistic or an anti-social personality disorder.
"Those who have a narcissistic personality are arrogant. They
think highly of themselves. It’s like they own the world and they own people.
So naturally, they look down on everyone else, except those whom they think
belong to their level," he explained.
"Those who have an anti-social personality are criminal-minded,
rule breakers. Your classmates who steal, who lie, who deceive their parents
and teachers and engage in a different level of copying or cheating -- they are
the anti-social," he added.
Dellosa said a person can have a combination of both personality
disorders, which could result in a very destructive behavior.
He pointed out that to mask their low self-esteem, some youths resort
to bullying because of reaction formation, which is considered a psychological
factor.
"It’s the opposite of what you feel inside. Because they have low
self-esteem, they have to mask it by going the other way. He/she can be weak,
insecure inside but aggressive on the outside," he said.
Dellosa added that bullies can also be from families with very
authoritative parents or parents who are punitive towards their children.
"The young people would copy authoritarian and aggression from
their parents. But it is also possible that they are abused in the family and
they have to release their anger, like catharsis since they don’t have someone
to talk to. They’ll lash it out physically on their classmates," he said.
While counseling could help in correcting bullies' behavior or
disorder, Dellosa said imposing penalties is the best way to teach them a
lesson.
"Counseling is sometimes not enough. They revert to what they
were. It is important that you talk to the bully and penalize him by ordering
him to do something that he dislikes so that he will remember the consequences
of bullying and not do it again. For example, let him clean the comfort room if
he hates it," he said. (
By Ma. Teresa Montemayor /With reports from Lyda Gail Suyu, OJT/PNA)
